sicksickgirl

"I'll be back after class. Make yourselves comfortable." Dr. (Professor) Murguia says to my mother, sister, and I. I have never liked him much but I feel gratitude for him allowing us to stay where we are.

We organize our sleeping arrangements and I walk into the bathroom to grab my sandals. I look down and see feces on the floor, in the bathtub, and --of course-- my sandal as well. My mother tells me we will talk to the staff of the location we are staying at in order to have it corrected and to wear another pair of sandals in the meantime. We finish getting ready and get into a car.

My sister is driving. I ask her what she has been up to. It's around the time the sky clouds fade from a bright pink and burning orange into purples and dark blues; there are no more shadows lining the streets. My sister doesn't answer my question; she seems like she isn't sure where she's going and pulls into a parking spot. The car next to us has two 30-something year old men smoking pot from a bright red bong. My sister pulls into reverse but not before pulling out a bong of her own and taking a rip. My mom grunts in disagreement and opens her door to clear the smoke.

As we turn the corner, I ask where my sister is living now. She tells me she is living in the Fontana area and she is happy because she finally gets to wash her own clothes where she lives.

Within a blink of an eye, we're back at the place we were staying. I thought it was a hotel but now I realize it's a very large living area within an air plane. I remind my mom that we need to contact the staff about the smeared shit in the bathroom. It was no doubt the staffs fault. My sister tells me to tell them about my sheets.
"What's wrong with my sheets?"
"Remember? There were all those stains on them. It's disgusting, Jay."

I let out a squeal as I pull myself up from my sleeping area. As I do this, the airplane does a barrel roll, sending my sister and mom into strange cartwheels. We all start laughing hesitantly at the unexpectedness of it all. The plane continues rolling in full 360 degrees. Suddenly we can feel an elevation change. It seems like the plane is nose-diving. We gasp for air and my sister and mom begin floating; they are weightless but I am stuck on the ground. The plane starts making a vertical climb. i can feel my stomach and heart in my throat. My heart is racing and I'm scared to breathe.

It starts dropping again. My feet slowly drift upward, toes coming off the ground. I am weightless. My sister and mom are trying to float around, their heads close to the ceiling. My sister is using the air to try and propel herself and suddenly she is coming right at me. We are all laughing like kids.

And I wake up.

I have my stomach in my throat and my heart is racing. I come to my senses and feel my hands intertwined over my head, laying as straight as a needle.

I've been having the strangest and most vivid dreams lately.

If you are on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you.
I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other.
Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!
Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.
AND INCLUDE A PIC OF YOURSELF AT THE END if you'll please indulge me

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) Favorite band to listen to when you're mad?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

My manager asked me today: "How do you think your life would have been different if your father had died instead of your mom?"

An hour later, it's still running through my head. Never, in the entire 8 years, 2 months, and three weeks since my mom has died have I ever thought of that.

It's Marcel's birthday.

Tomorrow it will be one year since he committed suicide, and I'll be in Vegas on Sunday with his friends and family.

This weekend is going to be horrible. I have a constant feeling of nausea.

So, in a few weeks it will be the one year anniversary since Marcel had passed away. I got a hold of my old friend, Sofia, who was much closer with him after he moved. I told her I would be in Vegas the weekend of the 2nd in October and wanted to go visit his grave site. She told me that they ended up having him cremated instead but she was going to be out there on the 21st for the anniversary; the family is having a barbecue. She invited me to go along and then mentioned that Marcel's brother, Mikey, tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. He slit his wrists and his throat but they found him in time. He was in the hospital for a few weeks but was recently released.

I can't imagine what he's going through but, oh my gosh, to actually slit your own throat? I can't fathom it.

I took the hardest final of this quarter. I feel okay about it but I'm borderline A/A- so we'll see what happens once my final is graded. I have another final in two hours (race and racism) that I'm not worried about whatsoever. I have about 20 points of extra credit built up. In about three hours I will officially be on summer break. I think I'm going to go over and visit my sister. Cook up some cheeseburgers and have a beer or two. She needs to call me though.


Fall schedule:
ANTH 475 - CULTURAL ECOLOGY 2-4


PSYC 382 - PSYCH OF SOCIAL BEHAVIOR 6-8


SOC 352 - JUVENILE OFFENDER 8-10


Oh, and I saw "You dont mess with the Zohan" last night and walked out before it was finished. Joe fell asleep. It was the worst movie I've ever seen. Absolutely horrible.

my mom.

My hair is purpley-black.

there are new pictures added to my Hawaii trip from the last day!

I want to write about everything we did, but my memory is so horrible I can't even remember what happened when. Basically, we did a lot of lounging on the beaches, watched a bunch of surfing at Pipeline and Sunset Beach where they had a competition, checked out local shops, snorkeled, and went hiking in the Waimea Audobon Center, and saw WWII memorials. Here are just a few pictures. I just realized I still need to upload pictures from seeing the USS Arizona! The rest are on my photobucket.


( Picture heavy! )

I took two and got these answers on them:

Jamie, your IQ score is 117

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you an Original Thinker. This means you're a naturally abstract thinker. You pick up visual detail that others routinely miss. You're also very good at making connections that don't already exist, and you have your own ideas of how the world works. While your talents matter greatly in real life, they are sometimes overlooked in less thorough intelligence tests.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Original Thinker? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Original Thinker. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.




and....




Jamie, your imagination is fueled by a subconscious desire for Openness.

The stories in the deepest recesses of your imagination suggest that you long to be connected with others. They may also indicate a deep-rooted desire to feel less guarded and closer to the world in general.

Your subconscious feeds your imagination. It is where your deepest thoughts and feelings are housed and it has great power over how you experience and interpret the world.

You can't control your subconscious, but you can learn from it. In fact, it's the fastest path to knowing what you really need and want. Do you have needs that are going unfulfilled? Are you puzzled by how you interpret events? Do you have issues that you want to address, but you don't know where to begin? It's possible your imagination is trying to tell you something.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080110/ap_on_re_us/california_budget



What. the. fuck.

I feel accomplished. I'm making my very own chicken noodle soup. I've never handled a whole chicken before (it makes me want to cry) so I was a little surprised by the gizzards and stuff that plopped on out while I was washing it.

Thank you, chicken, for providing me nourishment.

I haven't cried like this in years. And by crying, I mean actual tears coming out of my eyes and boogers plugging up my nose.


One of my old very good friends and ex-boyfriend, Marcel, has died. I don't know enough information yet, but I know that he's gone.